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Mick and Jim are forced into an unexpected holiday in Lanzarote. They book into Sea View, a bizarre re-creation of a 1950's Blackpool boarding house, right next to

the beach.


On their first afternoon, while enjoying a pedalo ride, they are threatened with assassination by both the CIA and KGB.


Subsequently, they are drawn into a web of lies, deceit and sexual excess involving MI7 - so secret, even MI5 and MI6 don't know about it.


The climactic underground showdown is orchestrated by Polly, the world's most foul-beaked parrot.

Mick and Jim are on the run from Vlad and Vic, enforcers for international crime boss and Ealing comedy lover, Charlie Sumkins. 


They hide at Mick's ex-wife's Guest House in Southsea, but the price involves terrifying demands of an intimate nature.


They end up in Las Vegas, where, with cactus-punctured groins, they're pursued by Reservoir Dogs' lookalikes.


Later, they escape from Thelma and Louise wannabes, and make a commitment before a bourbon-fuelled Elvis impersonator, before the big, life-threatening sort-out in Nevada's most lurid theatrical environment.

Mrs Hathaway, Mick and Jim's 60-year-old office cleaning lady, is a martial arts/extreme sports expert - skills she developed through online and home video courses.


Daring Dooz is a highly successful global magazine, full of fictitious adventure stories featuring scantily clad pole dancers.


Mrs Hathaway is, however, the real thing, and accepts a series of global challenges for a £2 million advance.


The challenges involve shark attacks, time warps, anacondas, MiG fighters, sex-mad caimans and exploding missionaries, with Mick and Jim coerced into videoing every terrifying step.

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"Clever, fast paced, outrageously funny and never a dull moment.

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Mick is on a mission to Hollywood intent on saving Jim's soul and any other bits of him that might be useful around the office.


Horrible things happen. Like not finding out if Pamela Anderson screen tested for Hannibal Lecter.


Fascinating information includes the fact that there are pubs in Ireland, and Bulgarian hit men in Hollywood.


What is the secret of the iVone and how do people cope with power boating through seven miles of raw sewage?


If you like geraniums, Florence Nightingale’s spittoon and explosions that shift the San Andreas Fault by six feet. This is the book for you.

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During a devastating night on the town, Mick and Jim befriend a killer wolf, called Twinkle.


They are also conned by the world's worst photographer, who offers them dubious paparazzi assignments.


Events quickly become life-threatening and they flee, with Twinkle, to Glencoe to work on a LA slasher movie.


They come up against a Sicilian assassin called Heidi, an Erich Von Stroheim look-a like, sex mad, soft porn writers who have trouble with their support stockings, American Civil War cannons, the lure of the Copper Sporran's tea cakes, and the unbelievable power of Twinkle's bladder.


Naturally, all is happily resolved on the desolate tundra around Archangel.